A collection of Ron's Favorite Quotes
Current as of 18-Aug-2017

( See also http://www.schistory.net )

Categories are (in no particular order):


"The difference between Congress and drunken sailors is that drunken sailors are spending their own money." -- Rep. Tom Feeney (R-Fla.), August 2003

"Why be a politician when it is so cheap to rent one on those rare occasions that you need one?" -- J.B. Williams, 2004

“What’s the job of the candidate in this world? The job of the candidate is to raise the money to hire the consultants to do the focus groups to figure out the 30-second answers to be memorized by the candidate. This is stunningly dangerous.” --- Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, September 2007

“The thought of having to choose between Huckabee and Hillary (or whomever the Left tosses up) come November 2008 is about as appealing to me as the option of watching Rosie O’Donnell river dance naked at 11:00 PM verses watching Rosie O’Donnell river dance naked at 11:15 PM.”--- Doug Giles

"An already perplexing Iowa race became even more impenetrable today as former Sen. John Edwards blasted Sen. Barack Obama for criticizing Sen. Hillary Clinton’s claim that Sen. Obama had criticized Sen. Edwards... The former North Carolina senator said that the Illinois senator’s criticism of the New York senator for claiming that the Illinois senator had criticized the North Carolina senator was ‘an attempt to confuse the voters.’ Mr. Edwards’ comments set off a new round of charges, countercharges, and counter-countercharges between the three Democratic rivals, with Sen. Obama lashing out at Sen. Clinton for supporting Mr. Edwards’ criticism of Sen. Obama’s criticism of Sen. Clinton.” --- Andy Borowitz

"There is an old saying in this town -- I just made it up -- that when the going gets tough the Democrats can always count on a few Republicans to switch sides." -- Lyn Nofziger, May 2005

"We show our sympathy with slavery by emancipating slaves where we cannot reach them and holding them in bondage where we can set them free." --- Secretary of state, William Seward, in response to President Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, January 2, 1863

"We are excited, uh, to see, uh, what appears to be a ro-robust debate taking place in Iran. And obviously after the speech that, uh, I made in Cairo we tried to send a clear message that we think there is the possibility of change, uhhh, aaaand -- ehhh, yuh-- oh -- Ultimately the election is for the Iranians to decide, uh, but, uh, just a-as has been true in Lebanon, what's, uh -- can be true in Iran as well is that you're seeing people looking at new possibilities. And, uh, whoever, uh, ends up winning, uh, the election in Iran, uh, the fact that there's been a robust debate hopefully will help, uh, advance our ability to engage them in new ways." -- US President Barack Hussein Obama, June 12, 2009 (see also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ45v4POISE)

 "If I don't have this [economy turned around] in three years, then this is gonna be a one-term proposition." -- Barack Obama in February 2009

"Obama took a bad situation and, in certain ways, made it worse. ... I find Obama scary in a way that I had not done in 2008." -- Oliver Stone in his book, "The Untold History of the United States"


"If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal. Besides, when I read the list of people who are supporting Kerry, if I wasn't already a Bush supporter, I would have immediately switched. Linda Ronstadt? Don Henley? Geez, that's a good reason right there to vote for Bush." -- Rock star Alice Cooper, 2004

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?" -- Chris Rock, 2003

"Why did God make so many dumb fools and Democrats?" --William Powell in "Life With Father", 1947

"... [Gen. W. T. Sherman] said 'War is hell' and what did he know?  That eight ball never even left the states." -- "The Halls of Montezuma", 1950

"Stop listening to celebrities. They do what they do for money -- that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can't even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is." -- Dave Chappelle, 2004

"They can kill us, but they can't eat us. That's against the law!" -- Brandon (Charles Drake), "To Hell and Back", 1955

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." -- Groucho Marx

"The Columbus Day Parade was held [Monday] in New York. [Columbus] was the world's first Democrat. He left not knowing where he was going, arrived not knowing where he was, went home not knowing where he had been, and he did it all on government money." -- Argus Hamilton, 2004

"Your levity is good, it relieves tension and the fear of death." --- The Terminator, 2003 [from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines]

"Michael Moore and I actually have a lot in common. We both appreciate living in a country where there's free expression. But Michael, if you ever show up at my front door with a camera, I'll kill you. I mean it." --Actor and Director Clint Eastwood, Jan 2005

"Do you know what week this is in our public schools? I'm not making this up: This week is National No Name-Calling Week. They don't want any name-calling in our public schools. What stupid dork came up with this idea?" -- Jay Leno, Jan 2005

"[Michael Jackson's] trial has been delayed because [he] had to be rushed to the hospital due to the flu. No word yet on his condition, but I bet we can rule out 'stable'." -- David Letterman, Feb 2005

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

"We are fighting. But the Marines keep coming. We are shooting, but the Marines won't stop." -- terrorist in Fallujah, 2005

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made." -- Groucho Marx

"On Monday, President Bush attended Russia's celebration commemorating the 60th anniversary of the Allied Forces' victory over Nazi Germany. Bush and his host Vladimir Putin reportedly got along quite well during the event, except when at the end of the parade of Russian military troops and vehicles, George said 'Is that all you got?' and busted out laughing." -- Dennis Miller, May 2005

"The New York Times has had fake stories. CBS has had fake stories. And now Newsweek had a fake story. You realize the only one that hasn't had to print a retraction is the National Inquirer" -- Jay Leno, May 2005

"A new study shows that the child population in San Francisco is dwindling and in fact San Francisco has the smallest share of children of any major city in the United States. That's odd, huh? For some reason couples in San Francisco don't seem to be reproducing as much as couples in other cities. Gee, I wonder what the problem is there? You think it might be something in the Rice-A-Roni?" -- Jay Leno, May 2005

"Major heat wave in India -- 122 degrees today. It was so hot people in India were sweating like Americans waiting to hear if their job is being outsourced to India." -- Jay Leno, June 2005

"Harriet Miers...was born Catholic and raised Presbyterian, then educated Methodist. She goes to an evangelical church in Dallas as well as St. John's Episcopal in Washington. President Bush said he nominated her because she will never change." —Argus Hamilton , October 2005

"[Jack Abramoff] is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going to burst into flames in that courtroom?"  --- Jay Leno, January 2006

"If it says: 'Send to everyone you know' - - please pretend you don't know me!"  --- Jay Callaham's email closing, 2006

"Under certain circumstance, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." --- Mark Twain

"Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement" and "Crowded elevator smell different to midget." --- Two "Chinese Proverbs" from a junk email, November 2007

"I went to a library and asked the clerk, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose." --- An email from a librarian friend, March 12, 2007

"US officials have now approved the first anti-obesity drug for dogs. I’m no a veterinarian, but if your dog is over eating, try putting a little less food in the bowl. Do we really need to give him a pill? Is the dog taking your car keys and driving to McDonalds?" --- Jay Leno, January 2007

"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us ... they can't get away this time." --- Lewis Burwell "Chesty" Puller, USMC during his service in Korea

"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shalt Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." --- Junk Email, from May 2007

“During a recent speech, President Bush said, ‘My job is a decision-making job. As a result, I have made a lot of decisions.’ Apparently, Bush’s decision that day was to write his own speech.” --- Conan O’Brien, October 2007

"Border agents have now been issued air guns that shoot pepper balls at people coming across the Mexican border. Have they thought this through? Is that going to bother people from Mexico? Pepper balls? Don’t these people eat jalapenos? Isn’t that like firing meatballs at an Italian guy?" --- Jay Leno, October 2007

"I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck." --- Anonymous email

“Well, the conference met today and appointed a commission to meet tomorrow and appoint a delegation which will eventually appoint a subcommittee to draw up ways and means of finding out what to start with first.” --- Will Rogers

"I filled out an application that said, 'In case of emergency, notify' ... I wrote 'Doctor'." --- Anonymous

"I believe if ten percent is good enough for Jesus, well, it ought to be enough for Uncle Sam." --- Ray Stevens, from the song "If Ten Percent is Good Enough for Jesus"

"I abhor the smell of poor people." --- Henry McMillan, from Dec 2011 (he was really just kidding!)

"If what happens in Las Vegas is supposed to stay in Las Vegas, how did Harry [Reid] get out?"--- Wesley Pruden, October 2013

"Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, 'It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'" --- Babe Ruth

"Sometimes I feel more confused than a mood ring on a paranoid, bi-polar, schizophrenic, chameleon in a bag of skittles." --- http://www.someecards.com/, July 2014

"I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. 'I'm going to take that.'" --- Anonymous email, Feb 2018


Sarcasm from Intelligent People

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge" - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a  friend . . . if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in reply

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself and hurried on as if nothing had happened." - Winston Churchill, on Stanley Baldwin

"There is no excuse for riding English and not having common sense!"  - Liz Crawley, Jan 3, 2007

"It appears we have appointed our worst generals to command forces, and our most gifted and brilliant to edit newspapers! In fact, I discovered by reading newspapers that these editor/geniuses plainly saw all my strategic defects from the start, yet failed to inform me until it was too late.  Accordingly, I'm readily willing to yield my command to these obviously superior intellects, and I'll, in turn, do my best for the Cause by writing editorials - after the fact." --- attributed in Blogs to Robert E. Lee, 1863

Conservative Thinking

"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." --- Ecclesiastes 10:2, New International Version

"I've never owned or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't been burned as a witch or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-hell-up already." --  Anonymous (from "junk" email)

"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents...." --James Madison

"California produces 40% of America's fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts -- the kind you eat. We have had a bumper crop of the other variety, too." -- Ronald Reagan

"Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence." -- Ronald Reagan

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help'." --  Ronald Reagan

"The Senate wants you to know how terribly, sincerely sorry they are even though not a single member of today's Senate was even in office the last time America saw a lynching. Some were not even born. But that's the way we prefer our apologies in American politics. We don't apologize for our own sins." -- Mona Charen, June 2005

"Charges of 'racism' and 'racial profiling' by McKinney and her attorney are code words often used to intimidate white Americans and get black racists off the hook." --- Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, a black conservative activist

"Only 2 defining forces have ever offered to die for you: Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom." --- Undetermined source

"The government now has license to transfer property from those with fewer resources to those with more. The Founders cannot have intended this perverse result." -- Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, June 2005

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have." -- Gerald Ford. August 12, 1974

"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." --- Cicero, 55 BC

"I cannot find any authority in the Constitution for public charity. [To approve this measure] would be contrary to the letter and spirit of the Constitution and subversive to the whole theory upon which the Union of these States is founded." --President Franklin Piece (1804-1869)

"I can find no warrant for such an appropriation [for charity relief] in the Constitution, and I do not believe that the power and duty of the General Government ought to be extended to the relief of individual suffering which is in no manner properly related to the public service or benefit." --President Grover Cleveland (1837-1908) - One of my favorites!

"By remaining at the seat of government, they would acquire the habits of the place, which might differ from those of their constituents." -- Rhode Island's Roger Sherman during the Constitutional Convention in 1787, and a good argument for term limits in all elected offices

"Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem. ... Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it. ... The problem is not that people are taxed too little, the problem is that government spends too much." -- Ronald Reagan, January 20,1981

 “The ultimate authority … resides in the people alone. ... [T]he advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation … forms a barrier against the enterprises of ambition, more insurmountable than any.” —James Madison (1788)

"To protest, hold a squat during the National Anthem. That proves the reason you're not standing isn't just because you're lazy." —Frank Fleming, Sep 2016

Plain Common Sense

"The sheep do not want the dog around. He looks too much like the wolf. He reminds them that danger lurks out there, just beyond the relative safety of the fence. The wolf also hates the dog. He knows that it is the dog that stands between him and his prey. It is because of the dog that he is lean. The dog is the reason the wolf is forced to stalk the darkness. The dog knows these facts. Undeterred, he stands watch, ever ready to do battle. Despite that he is an unwelcome guest in the mists, the dog is ready, at a moment's notice, to give his life in defense of the flock. It is simply who he is." --- In reference to police, from an internet blog possibly paraphrasing On Combat, by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, U.S. Army (Ret.)

"I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalms 27:13

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." -- Albert Einstein

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -- Albert Einstein

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking," -- Congressman JC Watts (R - OK)

"Crime expands according to our willingness to put up with it." -- Barry Farber

"Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right." -- Henry Ford

"Worry more about your character than your reputation. Character is what you are, reputation merely what others think you are." -- John Wooden

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -- Mother Teresa

"Always make sure you are right. Then, go ahead." -- Davy Crockett

"There is only one quality worse than hardness of the heart and that is softness of the head." -- Theodore Roosevelt

"Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more. You should never wish to do less." -- Robert E. Lee

"Ladies and gentlemen, you had the highest murder rate, unto each other. You were dealing drugs to each other. You were impregnating our 13-, 12-, 11-year-old children. What kind of a village is that?" --- Bill Cosby, speaking in New Orleans, April 2006

"History and war are cruel pedants. Those who know too little of the former are likely to have too much of the latter." --- Oliver North, 2006

“Here’s my credo. There are no good guns, there are no bad guns. A gun in the hands of a bad man is a bad thing. Any gun in the hands of a good man is no threat to anyone, except bad people.” --- Charlton Heston

"What we do during our working hours determines what we have; what we do in our leisure hours determines what we are." --- George Eastman (Eastman-Kodak)

"And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey." --- Anonymous Junk Email, received February 2006, recalling "the good old days."

  • You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."
  • You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
  • You might be a redneck if: You still say " Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
  • You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
  • You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
  • You might be a redneck if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
  • You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag.
  • You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
  • You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
  • You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
--- "Junk email" March 2007

"My advice is to try renting. Sell or give away all stuff except a change of clothing and a good laptop computer. I now look back somewhat fondly to my years in the tropics with nothing but what could be carried in a light pack, killing those who happened to interfere." --- Randolf K., a WWII veteran of the Pacific Theater of Operations, March 27, 2007 in response to an email about buying a new house.

“Quemadmoeum gladuis neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.” [A sword is never a killer, it is a tool in the killer’s hands] --- Lucius Annaeus Seneca, circa 45 AD

"Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington ? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to keep track of sex-offenders on probation or locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow." --- Junk Email, from May 2007

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” --- US Army General George S. Patton

"A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end." --- US Army General George S. Patton

"Absolute power corrupts even when exercised for humane purposes. The benevolent despot who sees himself as a shepherd of the people still demands from others the submissiveness of sheep. The taint inherent in absolute power is not its inhumanity but its anti-humanity." --- American author Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." --- English writer G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

 "Tell 'em to kiss my butt." --- Maine Gov. Paul LePage on NAACP claims that he has exhibited a "pattern" of racist behavior, Jan 14, 2011

"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear them or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate." --- Rick Warren, March 2012

“What astounds me are the amount of people who weren’t offended by the Confederate flag until they were told they should be.” --- Unknown Facebook user, July 2015, who referred to such malleable minds as “sheeple”

"The most important six inches on the battlefield is between your ears." --- General James "Mad Dog" Mattis. USMC Ret.

“It wasn’t genuine outages but more a manufactured outrage that was born out of the political correctness the peer pressure and then virtue signaling that you see on social media.” – Matthew Melton, 15-Jul-2017, on The Greg Gutfeld Show referring to his band Dream Machine being dropped from their record label, supposedly because of comments made in an interview. See also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtcFJSyiMbg

"When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free." —Justice Charles Evans Hughes (1862-1948)

Remember Who Said It!

"Go back to Plymouth Rock, Pilgrims! Get out! We are the future. You are old and tired. Leave like beaten rats, you old white people. It is your duty to die... We are going to take over." --- Augustin Cebada, a Brown Beret protestor, demanding amnesty for illegal aliens, April 2006

"I'm a colossal failure, and you made me one." -- Bill Clinton to Yasser Arafat expressing his dismay over failing to garner a legacy on Middle East foreign policy, July 2001

"Christopher Reeve just passed away, and America just lost a great champion for this cause, somebody who was a powerful voice for the need to do stem cell research and change the lives of people like him, who have gone through a tragedy. Well, if we do the work that we can do in this country, the work that we will do when John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going to walk, get up out of that wheelchair and walk again." -- John Edwards, October 2004

"Do not be naive. AIDS is not a curse from God to Africans or the black people. It is a tool to control them designed by some evil-minded scientists, but we may not know who particularly did [it]." -- Wangari Maathai, 2004 Noble Peace Prize recipient

"Find what strength you have to terrorize your enemy and the enemy of God." --1994 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient, Yasser Arafat, May 16, 2004

"Every Cuban has a house to live in, no matter how meager. That house is provided by government. Every Cuban who gets sick can go to a doctor or a hospital and get medical attention while 45 million Americans don't have medical insurance. Every Cuban can get education from the kindergarten through college and they don't have to pay. What is Castro doing that we might benefit from—if we are not too arrogant and falsely proud to see what he is doing in a small nation and what we have not been able to do or not been willing to do in the greatest nation on the earth?" --- Louis Farrakhan at the "Millions More" rally in DC, which attracted thousands of people, October 2005

"It's time for us to rebuild New Orleans—the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans. This city will be a majority-African American city. It's the way God wants it to be. You can't have New Orleans no [sic] other way. It wouldn't be New Orleans." --- New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, January 17, 2006

"People think it's bad behavior and that you just need an attitude adjustment, but what they don't know...is that there's a biology and cognitive science to this [disorder]." —Dr. Emil Coccaro, chairman of psychiatry at the University of Chicago's medical school on a new-found "disorder" called "intermittent explosive disorder" (ironically, IED), June 2006 **Take one dose of personal responsibility and call us in the morning.

"[Saddam Hussein’s] mind would have been a unique resource for historical, political and psychological research: a resource that is now forever unavailable to scholars... [I]n a small way his execution represents a wanton and vandalistic destruction of important research data.” --- atheist Richard Dawkins , January 2007

"Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale, and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged." --- US President Abraham Lincoln

"If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne would be 62 years old. Through his tireless work as a legislator, Edward Kennedy would have brought comfort to her in her old age." -- Boston Globe Magazine tribute to Senator Ted Kennedy, by Globe staffer Charles Pierce in Jan. 2004.

"Even if [Osama bin Laden] is caught tomorrow, it is five years too late. To capture him now I don't think makes us any safer." --- Nancy Pelosi. In 2006

                 ... followed by ...

"The death of Osama bin Laden marks the most significant development in our fight against al-Qa'ida. I salute President Obama ... in achieving this major accomplishment. ... [T]he death of Osama bin Laden is historic." --- Nancy Pelosi, May 2, 2011

"Well, maybe, I'm with the Eleventh Amendment so, ah, er, is it the Eleventh Amendment that, uh? Ha ha! Fourteenth is it? But whatever it is, I'm with the Constitution of the United States." -- Nancy Pelosi, Nov 15, 2012

"The benefits and [$174,000 per year] salary that we get, we earn. It's not elaborate, it's just a bunch of poppycock that a lot of people have spread around trying to get us to hate our own government and our government representatives." -- Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA), Nov 2012

"[It] is true that the vast majority of gun deaths in America are not the consequence of the use of an 'assault weapon.' But that begs the question of whether assault weapons have any real utility either in terms of any sporting or self protection needs." -- Joe Biden, Feb 1, 2013 (Note: so because they are not generally used in crime, we should ban them)

"What does the trial of a Philadelphia doctor who is accused of performing illegal late-term abortions by inducing labor and then killing viable fetuses have to do with the debate over legal abortion?" -- New York Times columnist Andrew Rosenthal, April 15, 2013

“Far too many women are denied access to reproductive health care and safe childbirth, and laws don’t count for much if they’re not enforced. Rights have to exist in practice — not just on paper. Laws have to be backed up with resources and political will. And deep-seated cultural codes, religious beliefs and structural biases have to be changed." --- Democratic candidate for President Hillary Clinton, April 2015

"Where is the God damn flag? I want the God damn f*cking flag up every morning at f*cking sunrise" --- Hillary Clinton, 1991 to staff at the Arkansas Governor's mansion on Labor Day. From the book "Inside the White House" by Ronald Kessler, p. 244

What the hell were they thinking ...

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him." -- Yogi Berra

'That's not a lie. It's a terminological inexactitude.' -- Alexander Haig

"[Yasser] Arafat remains in stable condition after dying in a Paris hospital." -- James Taranto, OpinionJournal editor (Wall Street Journal), November 12, 2004

"In America, black people doesn't really have an opportunity at nothin.' ... It's kinda bad bein' black in America." -- Richard Williams, father of tennis sensations Venus and Serena Williams, who also has three stepdaughters - one is an actress and singer, one is a lawyer, and one, now deceased, attended medical school, January 17, 2005

"Being Safe Can Keep Kids From Being Run Over, Expert Says" -- headline from the Internet Broadcasting Systems, May 2005

"Something must be done, even if it doesn't work." --- Bob Geldof at July 3, 2005 "Live8" concert

"It makes it very difficult to quit smoking under this administration." --- actor Sean Penn, January 7, 2006 [Note: Penn said Bush and the war in Iraq have made it hard for him to give up his addiction to cigarettes.]

“[Cigarette smoking is a] significant contributor to global warming!” --- Al Gore, September 28, 2006

"If you do not receive this, it must have miscarried, therefore I beg you write and let me know."--- Sir Boyle Roche, 18th century Member of Parliament

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."  --- Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota, 1996

“I’m all for the Fairness Doctrine, whatever that is.” --- Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH), June 2007

“I want to make change, but I’ve already made change. I will continue to make change. I’m not just running on a promise of change. I’m running on 35 years of change.” --- Hillary Clinton, January 2008

"We’ll be eight degrees hotter in 10, not 10, but in 30 or 40 years, and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.” --- Ted Turner, lamenting the effects of global warming, April 2008

“Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states, I think, one left to go... Alaska and Hawaii I was not allowed to go to.” —Barack Obama , May 2008

"The event itself is so extraordinary that another chapter could be added to the Bible to chronicle its significance.” --- Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., June 2008, after Obama's apparent Democratic nomination as a Presidential Candidate

“I believe in natural gas as a clean, cheap alternative to fossil fuels.” --- House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, August 2008 (Uh, natural gas IS a fossil fuel!)

“Should I be worried about being a slave and being returned to slavery? Because certain things happened in the Constitution that had to change.” --- constitutional scholar Whoopie Goldberg to John McCain, September 16, 2008

“I never said most of the things I said.” --- Yogi Berra

"The president has the right to select who he wants [for the Supreme Court]. [He] doesn't have to get it cleared from Congress, Senate or anybody... No president before this has come under this kind of scrutiny ... before the committee hearings even begin." --Radio host Montel Williams, June 2009

Times are changing: "Well, our job is to bash the president, that's what we do." (February 2007) ... "We're understanding what Obama is. He is the great teacher. He is this guy that stands above everybody.  I mean in a way Obama's standing above the country, above -- above the world, he's sort of God." (June 2009) --- Newsweek editor Evan Thomas

"Every single great idea that has marked the 21st century, the 20th century and the 19th century has required government vision and government incentive." --- Joe Biden, November 2010

"[President Obama] charged me with three things: One was he wanted me to help re-inspire children to want to get into science and math, he wanted me to expand our international relationships, and third, and perhaps foremost, he wanted me to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science, math, and engineering." --- NASA administrator Charles Bolden, July 2010

"Children should not be used as pawns in a political fight." -- White House spokesman Jay Carney, criticizing the NRA for referencing the protection of children in a Web ad, an hour after Obama surrounded himself with children as pawns in a political fight, January 16, 2013

“This is the kind of [turn] that happened to the great country of Germany, where the Nazis came over, created tragic things, and they had to be told off,” --- Singer Tony Bennett, February 6, 2013 who helped us "tell off" those mean Nazis as a soldier in the US Army Veteran during WWII

Gun Nuts

"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." -- The Second Amendment to the US Constitution.

"The right of the citizens to keep and bear arms has justly been considered as the palladium of the liberties of a republic; since it offers a strong moral check against the usurpation and arbitrary power of rulers; and will generally, even if these are successful in the first instance, enable the people to resist and triumph over them." -- Supreme Court Justice Joseph Story, Story, Joseph. Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States. 3 vols. Boston, 1833

"By calling attention to 'a well regulated militia', the 'security' of the nation, and the right of each citizen 'to keep and bear arms', our founding fathers recognized the essentially civilian nature of our economy. Although it is extremely unlikely that the fears of governmental tyranny which gave rise to the Second Amendment will ever be a major danger to our nation, the Amendment still remains an important declaration of our basic civilian-military relationships, in which every citizen must be ready to participate in the defense of his country. For that reason, I believe the Second Amendment will always be important." -- John F. Kennedy, April 1960

" ... further gun laws can only work against law-abiding gun owners and not criminals. The way you enforce the law against criminals is to apprehend and imprison criminals. And you leave the good people alone." -- Tim Wheeler, 2001

"The attitude of people associating guns with nothing but crime, that is what has to be changed. I grew up at a time when people were not afraid of people with firearms." -- Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, February 2006

"If one is okay with police having guns -- whoever is designated as having authority -- but panicked at the thought of their fellow man or themselves having guns, then that is someone who does not think like a free person. He places a magical aura around whoever is in charge and only thinks they can wield power. This will come up again in other areas, such as letting government make economic decisions but fearing individual people making those decisions themselves." -- Frank J. Fleming, December 2012

"Should it be renewed, the ban's effects on gun violence are likely to be small at best and perhaps too small for reliable measurement. [Assault weapons] were rarely used in gun crimes even before the ban." -- Noted in a 2004 Department of Justice study just before the 1994 "Assault Weapons Ban" was lifted

"The Supreme Court is wrong on the Second Amendment. And I am going to make that case every chance I get.” — Hillary Clinton, Oct 2015

Just Good Advice

"You can want in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first." --- Bonnie Mason, mother of Jeff Mason when little Jeff said he wanted something.  Frequently quoted by Ron! - Ed.

"It's called a 'slide' not a 'climb'" --- Unknown mother to a child at a McDonald's playground in Inman, SC

 "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today ... it's already tomorrow in Australia!" --- Charles Shultz, 13 June 1980.  I have no advice for those living in Australia! - Ed.

 "It is the difficult horses that have the most to give you." - Dressage Olympian Lendon Gray

"... the benefit arising from moderate use of strong Liquor have been experienced in all Armies, and are not to be disputed."  --- George Washington

"Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?" --- junk email, April 2012

"My centre is yielding. My right is retreating. Situation excellent. I am attacking." --- Marshal Ferdinand Foch, 1914 (ed:  OK, this is not always good advice, but I love the quote and the dedication and guts behind it, and it did not fit elsewhere on my page)

"No-one ever has 'just a job' because we all need each other in this wonderful machine called Life." --- LinkedIn post by Gary Ayris, Oct 2016